"I'll Grab Those Hipbones Cause They're Just Like Handles. .
-Cinista.
Showing posts with label funny shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny shit. Show all posts
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
POSER OF THE YEAR.
It is way early into 2010 but we've already found the biggest poser up in this piece. I'll keep his identity hidden cause from what his homegirls have told me; he is a weeper. I'll keep it easy. First of all, I see this guy everywhere throwing up LA like some kind of gangster. That's cool, whatever. The thing is... he has NEVER been to LA. He has NEVER been seen in LA. He has NEVER had an address in LA... he is from NORTHRIDGE. LMAO. He was too scared to park his car in ARLETA from what I can remember. The f*ck outta here with that sh*t!
Noone Gives A F*ck About This But...
C'mon Sonnnnnn!!
Hahahaha. Had to get that off my chest.
-Cinista.
Noone Gives A F*ck About This But...
C'mon Sonnnnnn!!
Hahahaha. Had to get that off my chest.
-Cinista.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
COCKTAIL. FRUIT!
Series One.
Part of the "Do NOT Sleep Around Us" series. After that night, we weren't allowed back in that house EVER again. Bahahaha.
-Cinista.
Part of the "Do NOT Sleep Around Us" series. After that night, we weren't allowed back in that house EVER again. Bahahaha.
-Cinista.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
INEBRIATION IS THE SOLUTION.
Drinking Pattern Consisting Of SIX Stages.
-as told by tiny, tiny girl
stage 1- I am right about everything. My opinion is what matters and if you think otherwise be prepared for lecturing about why you are wrong.
stage 2 - Talking about pointless rubbish, making promises im never going
to see through and saying to EVERYONE
"we should go out more"
I really do mean it but by tomorrow morning I probably
wont ever want to go out the house ever again.
stage 3 - Getting pretty Flash with the cash by now. I begin to kid myself that I have infinite funds and think its wise to spend ALOT.
The card comes out and I have a great time while my bank balance does not.
stage 4 - I get the urge to pose, dance and look as 'sexy' as possible.
I think I look amazing until photographic evidence surfaces where I look slightly special needs.
This is probably more embarrassing than the final stages.
stage 5 - Utter fail. I have expressed and enforced my opinions, made promises i can't keep, spent all my money and look like a dick.
Now is the time when I begin to lose all dignity that I may
have clung onto through the night and feel it appropriate to stuff my face
with disgusting and otherwise inedible food and stumble to a taxi rank, talk shite to a taxi driver, get home and throw up into a toilet.
stage 6 - I wake up either feeling as rough as a Badgers arse or still drunk.
www.glitter-and-trauma-exposed.blogspot.com
We can all relate. And yes she is a Brit.
-Cinista.
-as told by tiny, tiny girl
stage 1- I am right about everything. My opinion is what matters and if you think otherwise be prepared for lecturing about why you are wrong.
stage 2 - Talking about pointless rubbish, making promises im never going
to see through and saying to EVERYONE
"we should go out more"
I really do mean it but by tomorrow morning I probably
wont ever want to go out the house ever again.
stage 3 - Getting pretty Flash with the cash by now. I begin to kid myself that I have infinite funds and think its wise to spend ALOT.
The card comes out and I have a great time while my bank balance does not.
stage 4 - I get the urge to pose, dance and look as 'sexy' as possible.
I think I look amazing until photographic evidence surfaces where I look slightly special needs.
This is probably more embarrassing than the final stages.
stage 5 - Utter fail. I have expressed and enforced my opinions, made promises i can't keep, spent all my money and look like a dick.
Now is the time when I begin to lose all dignity that I may
have clung onto through the night and feel it appropriate to stuff my face
with disgusting and otherwise inedible food and stumble to a taxi rank, talk shite to a taxi driver, get home and throw up into a toilet.
stage 6 - I wake up either feeling as rough as a Badgers arse or still drunk.
www.glitter-and-trauma-exposed.blogspot.com
We can all relate. And yes she is a Brit.
-Cinista.
WITH ACCENTS.
I am usually against youtube. It is full of talentless self promoters and fame whores[------DAMN that's a little angry. I apologize.. I'm just peeved at people and exes hahaha]. Anywho... ever since I came back from London I've been intrigued[obsessed] with asian girls with english accents. It really is quite mesmerizing listening to a voice like that. Maybe it's the juxtaposition of the regular fob speak that I am used to here.
:SIDENOTE:
The vietnamese language is beautiful. They say french is the language of love... they were wrong homie.
Back to the entry.
I was talking to asian chicks on the plane rides to London and they all sounded like this girl. She is not the definition of classic hot per se. When she starts speaking... it "ups" the points. It doesn't hurt that she is funny as hell. I've already decided that I am living in the UK at some point of my life.
-Cinista.
:SIDENOTE:
The vietnamese language is beautiful. They say french is the language of love... they were wrong homie.
Back to the entry.
I was talking to asian chicks on the plane rides to London and they all sounded like this girl. She is not the definition of classic hot per se. When she starts speaking... it "ups" the points. It doesn't hurt that she is funny as hell. I've already decided that I am living in the UK at some point of my life.
-Cinista.
MURSE.
Milk Came Out.
I was in the middle of eating cereal when I saw this. Male nurses are cool.
-Cinista.
I was in the middle of eating cereal when I saw this. Male nurses are cool.
-Cinista.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I'M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU.
An Open Letter To An Ex...
My Dearest Mia,
I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore.
I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says… “There’s no one like you, Mia.”
I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Beauty Bar and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.
She was young, Mia, maybe 22, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn’t believe and an ass like tortoise shell. Every man’s dream, right?
But as I sat on the couch being blown by this chick, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all so trivial.
What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I’m getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Mia? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before. I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little.
Later, after I’d tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?
And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there, Mia, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.
Jesus, Mia, I’m just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.
Do you remember Jenny, that single mom we met at that lounge at Red Rock? Well, she drops by last week with a plate of pasta. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we’re fucking in my bedroom. And this chick's a total monster in bed. She’s giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about God and her career and whether it is right or wrong. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror beside the bed. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad too. ‘Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Mia ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old mirror for what, 4 years, and we never used it as a sex aid.” (Some of this I thought about later.)
You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That’s the saddest part of all for me.
But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your cousin drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Karina’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She’s pulling for us to get back together, Mia. She really is.)
So we’re drinking in the living room and talking about happier times. Here’s this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let’s face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 19. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Karina’s really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside the steaming hot oven of your cousin’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true, baby. In your heart you know it.
Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you’d just try it, I wouldn’t have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Mia? It just tears us apart. And I can’t be apart from you.
Because I love you.
SOURCE: Unknown
:
:
:
:
-Cinista.
My Dearest Mia,
I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore.
I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says… “There’s no one like you, Mia.”
I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Beauty Bar and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.
She was young, Mia, maybe 22, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn’t believe and an ass like tortoise shell. Every man’s dream, right?
But as I sat on the couch being blown by this chick, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all so trivial.
What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I’m getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Mia? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before. I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little.
Later, after I’d tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete?
And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there, Mia, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby.
Jesus, Mia, I’m just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.
Do you remember Jenny, that single mom we met at that lounge at Red Rock? Well, she drops by last week with a plate of pasta. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we’re fucking in my bedroom. And this chick's a total monster in bed. She’s giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about God and her career and whether it is right or wrong. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror beside the bed. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad too. ‘Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Mia ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old mirror for what, 4 years, and we never used it as a sex aid.” (Some of this I thought about later.)
You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That’s the saddest part of all for me.
But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your cousin drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Karina’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She’s pulling for us to get back together, Mia. She really is.)
So we’re drinking in the living room and talking about happier times. Here’s this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let’s face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 19. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Karina’s really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside the steaming hot oven of your cousin’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true, baby. In your heart you know it.
Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you’d just try it, I wouldn’t have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Mia? It just tears us apart. And I can’t be apart from you.
Because I love you.
SOURCE: Unknown
:
:
:
:
-Cinista.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
DIRTY TRICKS.
"I Know. That's The Joke.
I filmed in the middle of the joke; so, I have to give a little explanation of the trick. The joke is sticking a penny on someone's forehead and challenging them to shake it off[without using the fingers]. Easy right? Yes... supersimple. We have the mark do it at least three times to get their confidence up. The last part[of the trick] is to pretend to stick it on the head but actually keeping the coin in the hand instead. You let the mark shake their head off until dizzy. Everyone but the mark should know about the joke. Fucken Roger. Hahahahaha. Her reaction in the end is PRICELESS.
-Cinista.
I filmed in the middle of the joke; so, I have to give a little explanation of the trick. The joke is sticking a penny on someone's forehead and challenging them to shake it off[without using the fingers]. Easy right? Yes... supersimple. We have the mark do it at least three times to get their confidence up. The last part[of the trick] is to pretend to stick it on the head but actually keeping the coin in the hand instead. You let the mark shake their head off until dizzy. Everyone but the mark should know about the joke. Fucken Roger. Hahahahaha. Her reaction in the end is PRICELESS.
DIRTY TRICKS from JAYCINISTA on Vimeo.
-Cinista.
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