Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Drinking Pattern Consisting Of SIX Stages.
-as told by tiny, tiny girl

stage 1- I am right about everything. My opinion is what matters and if you think otherwise be prepared for lecturing about why you are wrong.

stage 2 - Talking about pointless rubbish, making promises im never going
to see through and saying to EVERYONE
"we should go out more"
I really do mean it but by tomorrow morning I probably
wont ever want to go out the house ever again.

stage 3 - Getting pretty Flash with the cash by now. I begin to kid myself that I have infinite funds and think its wise to spend ALOT.
The card comes out and I have a great time while my bank balance does not.

stage 4 - I get the urge to pose, dance and look as 'sexy' as possible.
I think I look amazing until photographic evidence surfaces where I look slightly special needs.
This is probably more embarrassing than the final stages.

stage 5 - Utter fail. I have expressed and enforced my opinions, made promises i can't keep, spent all my money and look like a dick.
Now is the time when I begin to lose all dignity that I may
have clung onto through the night and feel it appropriate to stuff my face
with disgusting and otherwise inedible food and stumble to a taxi rank, talk shite to a taxi driver, get home and throw up into a toilet.

stage 6 - I wake up either feeling as rough as a Badgers arse or still drunk.


We can all relate. And yes she is a Brit.


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